best card ever

November seems to have a mean streak. Thanksgiving may be right around the corner, but preparing for this day of gratitude first involves running a gauntlet with a grocery cart. You’ve been there. The mad dash for the turkey, the blitz for the cranberry sauce, the battery in the baking aisle. It’s a warzone out there.

At least that’s how it feels. My Thanksgiving shopping list aside, every time I look over my shoulder lately it seems bad news is sneaking up, walloping my dear ones as they try to catch their breath. But here’s the deal: Bitterness is unattractive on anyone, especially blondes (it turns us into white-haired ninnies in no time), so I’m aiming for a more positive outlook.

We—and I’m using the royal “we” here—need a good laugh. Braving the grocery store this week demands a certain kind of humor to keep us smiling, or perhaps smirking, as we hunt down shallots and stuffing with the rest of the minions. Keep your chin up, but more importantly, keep your elbows up. Cue the tape…

p.s., A quick shout-out to Arlington, Virginia, home to the original Whole Foods rap.